Congress Passes Rare Bipartisan Bill Formally Agreeing the Other Party Is the Worst

WASHINGTON — In a rare show of unity, both chambers of Congress on Tuesday overwhelmingly passed a bipartisan bill formally declaring that the other party is the worst.

The legislation, the Mutual Acknowledgment of Total Disgust Act, passed 431-4 in the House and 98-2 in the Senate, with members on both sides of the aisle calling it "long overdue."

"For years, we've struggled to find common ground," said a spokesperson for the Congressional Office of Agreeing on Things. "Today we found it. It turns out the common ground is that everyone else is terrible."

The bill requires each party to state, once per session and on the record, that the other party "is ruining everything." It also establishes a joint committee to determine which party is ruining things more, with a final report due never.

Lawmakers celebrated with a rare joint press conference, during which members stood shoulder to shoulder and refused to look at one another.

Voters reacted with cautious optimism. "Finally, they're getting something done," said local woman Joanne Merritt, 66. "I didn't think I'd see them agree on anything in my lifetime."

At press time, the few dissenting members had been criticized by both parties for "refusing to come to the table."