Local Driver Confident Turn Signal Is a Premium Feature He Didn't Pay For

ST. GEORGE, UT — A local driver said Tuesday that he is "pretty sure" the turn signal is a premium feature he never paid for, explaining why he has not used it in 11 years.

"I bought the base model," said Wade Thistlewood, 44, gesturing at the stalk on his steering column. "I'm not going to use something I didn't pay for. That's basically stealing."

Thistlewood said he assumes the lever controls a subscription service, possibly satellite radio, and that touching it "would probably trigger a monthly charge."

Instead, he communicates lane changes through what he calls "vibes," a combination of drifting gradually and trusting other drivers to "figure it out."

Fellow motorists said the system has its drawbacks. "He merged into me at a four-way stop and then waved," said local woman Bev Ostrander-Kell, 57. "Like we'd agreed on something."

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the Southern Utah Association of Drivers Who Know What They're Doing said the turn signal comes standard on all vehicles. Thistlewood dismissed the claim as "what they want you to think."

At press time, Thistlewood had activated his hazard lights by accident and was driving at 15 mph, convinced he had finally unlocked the premium tier.