Fry Sauce Board Denies It's "Just Ketchup and Mayo," Releases 400-Page Report Confirming It's Ketchup and Mayo

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The self-appointed Utah Fry Sauce Advisory Board on Tuesday firmly rejected claims that the state's beloved condiment is "just ketchup and mayo," then released a 400-page report confirming that it is ketchup and mayo.

"Fry sauce is a complex cultural achievement," said board chair Marlene Thibodeaux, 63, holding a squeeze bottle aloft at a press conference. "It is the product of generations of tradition, innovation, and putting ketchup into mayo."

The report, titled "Beyond the Blend," devotes 112 pages to the history of ketchup, 140 pages to the history of mayonnaise, and a 148-page conclusion that the two are "stirred together, usually with a spoon."

An appendix lists approved variations, including "a little more ketchup," "a little more mayo," and a section on pickle juice that the board described as "under active investigation."

Board members took no questions, though several out-of-state reporters were escorted from the room after asking whether it was "basically Thousand Island."

"I've lived here my whole life and I won't hear a word against it," said local man Wade Thistlewood, 44, dipping a fry. "It's ketchup and mayo, and it's ours."

The board said it will next study whether the condiment can be legally served on anything besides fries, with preliminary findings expected after a 300-page review of "everything."