SATIRE
Zion Shuttle Line Grows Long Enough to Qualify for Its Own Zip Code
SPRINGDALE, UT — The line for the Zion Canyon shuttle has grown long enough to qualify for its own zip code, according to a newly formed civic committee made up of people who have been standing in it since spring.
"We didn't plan to become a municipality," said committee chair Linda Okafor, 52, who joined the line in April for what she described as "a quick morning hike." "But at some point you need trash pickup and a way to get mail."
The line, which now stretches roughly four miles, has elected a mayor, opened two coffee carts, and passed an ordinance banning anyone from saving a spot "for a friend who's parking."
Residents say the community has a strong identity. Children born near the third switchback have never seen the canyon but describe it confidently from postcards. A volunteer library operates out of a stranded minivan.
"Property values near the front are insane," said line resident Gary Lindqvist, 61, who sold his place near the restrooms for a granola bar and two sunscreen sticks. "People will pay anything to be within sight of the bus."
The committee has applied for zip code 84767-LINE and hopes to have a post office by spring, depending on whether the mail carrier can find a parking spot.
At press time, a shuttle had arrived, loaded nine people, and departed, prompting a three-day civic celebration.